


Aidra

by Red_House



Series: The Magician's Sacrifice [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Crying, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, M/M, Mind Manipulation, Multi, Non-Consensual Bondage, Non-Consensual Tickling, Non-Consensual Touching, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rating May Change, Slavery, There is a part where an adult is attracted to a child nothing happens between them, Warnings May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2019-10-14 11:22:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17507654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_House/pseuds/Red_House
Summary: Aidra isn't his name, or at least it wasn't always his name. There was a time before his Master took him in and gave him a new life and a new name. A time when he was a person. He doesn't remember before because his Master told him to forget. Forced him to forget. His Master knows what's best for him. Even if Aidra doesn't want it. Even it hurts him. But it's not the place of aidra to question their Masters. He knows that he belongs kneeling at his Master's feet, doing what his Master wants and needs before he even knows it himself. That is what a proper aidra does. They bathe their Masters, help dress their Masters, and warm their Master's sheets. He doesn't want to. He does. He does want to. That's what aidra do and he is an aidra, his Master named him this way so he wouldn't forget. It doesn't matter if he feels like crawling out of his skin when his Master pushes into him, or if he breaks down in the bathroom every night before lying down next to his Master, or he wants to step off the balcony. He is an aidra and he will obey because he doesn't want to hurt anymore.





	1. The Cleansing Ceremony

**Author's Note:**

> Alrighty, I hate exposition so here is a glossary of terms  
> aidra - sex slave/pleasure slave (pretty obvious what they do alongside helping their masters do whatever their master asks)  
> airedi - house slave (cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, self-explanatory)  
> aiparo - field/work slave (any work that aidra or airedi don't do is done by aiparo)  
> Hasaii (pro. ha sigh ee) - the ruler of Regali  
> Ha'aii (pro. ha i ee) - basically royal consort

“I will tell you where you need to go in order to find me. Remember these places and you can return to me easily. You need every mark from every location for you to come to me. Once you have gone everywhere you need to go, I will take you back to the palace and then you may sleep.

“First to the city gates. Next to the statute of the first aidra. Then to the fountain in the heart of the city. After that the garden with your name. Then the tree that bears the sweetest fruit. Finally the Training Grounds. There they will tell you where I am waiting and give you your last marking. Return to me before the sun sets, little one.”

With nothing on, Aidra moves quickly down the palace steps. His hair is tied back in a short braid. He doesn’t know the way but he knows the people in the city do. As he runs, a group of children gather around him and run alongside him, pulling him toward the city gates whenever his feet take him off course. His heart swells as he comes to a stop next to a group of Masters sitting with their aidra kneeling at their feet. Aidra feels a pang in his chest at the sight, longing to be with his own Master. He bows to each of the Masters and greets the aidra. One of the Masters stands and from the bowl his aidra holds up for him, he takes a bit of paint and draws a dark blue line from the middle of Aidra’s forehead to the tip of his nose.

“An aidra with no Master to serve is a thing to be pitied as the role of aidra is to be of service.”

Aidra bows to all of the Masters and says goodbye to the aidra. Again the children take him by the hand and lead him away from the group. This time he needs less help from them. He remembers being taken through the city gates to the statute of the first aidra the first time he was brought to the city. There he was whipped by his Master before being bathed in the fountain. Aidra knows this path by heart almost perfectly. When he second guesses himself he is led back to the path by the children around him and he begins to realize something as he stops next to a Master with a bound aidra panting and writhing at his feet. he doesn't need guidance on this path. Not from these children at least. The Master runs two lines of paint down from behind his ears along under his jaw and connecting at his collar bone after Aidra bows and greets the other aidra.

“An aidra’s pleasure is to serve their Master. An aidra’s pleasure can only be received from their Master for only the Master can know what the aidra deeply desires and truly needs.”

Aidra bows to the Master again and says goodbye to the bound aidra. The fountain isn’t far from the statue and again Aidra finds the path easy to follow. He knows exactly where to go from the statute to arrive at the fountain. This time he doesn’t need any help from the children. More of them are running alongside him with some aiparo and even a few aidra running with him too. In a way, he is still letting them lead him even though he knows this path. Not quite fulling trusting his heart to lead him back to his Master. He knows he is wrong to do so, but he can’t seem to let go of his fear that he isn’t enough for his Master. He blinks back tears and pushes himself to run faster. At the fountain, a Master sits with his aidra on display for all to see. Aidra bows and greets the aidra who greets him in return. The Master instructs Aidra to sit on the edge of the fountain next to the other aidra. He draws a line from under Aidra’s nose and to his chin before splitting it in two and connecting it to the lines under his chin.

“Like a delicate flower, an aidra’s body is easily damaged. It is meant to be seen but only touched by those who know how to command it properly.”

Aidra bows to the Master and says goodbye to the aidra who smiles at him. The Aidra Garden is a place of healing and transition. Once he had been bathed in the fountain, Aidra was taken there to have the welts on his back treated. He runs alongside the others around him, neither following nor leading. Only aidra and children may enter and even Masters are barred from entering. The aiparo come to a stop outside the garden wall with the six aidra and the crowd of children entering with him. An old, female aidra smiles at him and kneels more gracefully than any aidra he's seen. She draws two lines down from his hips down along his inner thighs, around his calves, and all the way to the tops of his feet. She stands with as much grace as when she knelt.

“The true mind of an aidra thinks only of the Master, considering only what will make the Master truly content.”

Aidra thanks her and leads the group out of the garden and into the streets. The tree with the sweetest fruit. There he was given a fruit to eat. Only those capable of becoming aidra can taste the sweetness of the fruit. ‘The sweeter it tastes the more pliant the aidra’ as the saying goes. He remembers the fruit’s cloying taste. He thought his teeth would fall out the moment he bit into it. It was so saccharine that it had made him throw up. He hopes he won’t have to eat the fruit again. He stops next to a Master who is feeding her aidra bits of the fruit. He bows to her and greets the aidra. She stands, wiping her hands on a towel before drawing two lines down from the tips of his shoulders to the palms of his hands. She plucks a new fruit and hands it to him.

“The tongue of the aidra is sweeter still than the fruit of the aidra tree as it desires to speak only the truth to its Master.”

Aidra bows and says goodbye to the Aidra. With the fruit in hand, Aidra turns toward the Training Grounds. His steps falter. He doesn’t want to go back there. If it means seeing his Master again, Aidra is scared. The people around him urge him on but his feet stay planted. What if his Master was wrong?

“Do you trust your Master’s wisdom?” the Master feeding her aidra fruit asks.

“Of course I do, Sir.”

“Then why do your feet hesitate to bring you to him?”

“Because I am afraid.”

“Afraid of what, little aidra? Is there anything your Master can do that will harm you?”

Aidra bows his head, shaking it.

“But what if I’m not good enough for him? I’ve been so disobedient in the past and I ran away and got myself hurt and I worried my Master.”

She smiles at him. It doesn't reach her eyes.

“And yet here you are, in the middle of your Cleansing Ceremony, worrying about your Master," she shakes her head. "Why would your Master waste his time on an aidra that he knew wasn’t worth the effort? You stumbled as all aidra tend to do and he caught you as all Masters are meant to do. We would be remiss to leave our aidra in the dirt for very long. We know the minds of our aidra as our own. Your minds are fragile, easily bent and molded that is why you stumble. It is also what makes you aidra. If we were to condemn you for it, we would be condemning that which makes you ours."

She pauses and looks at him, pondering something.

"If you wouldn’t make a perfect aidra the fruit in your hand would taste bitter. To me, it was like biting into a lemon.”

Aidra rolls it in his hands considering taking a bite. He will know definitively that his Master is right that way.

“You can eat it and prove to yourself that your Master made the right choice, or you can trust his judgment and give the fruit to him whole once you see him.”

Aidra looks down at the golden fruit in his hand. He is still afraid, but perhaps that is part of being an aidra. Fear is what a faithless aidra feels. He is only afraid because he refuses to trust his Master. Bowing to the Master again he thanks her and without hesitating any longer, Aidra runs towards the Training Grounds. Slowly the crowd that follows him dissipates and he finds it terrifying to face this last thing between him and his Master alone. He knows he won't be harmed, but it's what's after this that scares him. He will be kneeling at his Master’s feet, waiting to learn if he is ready to return to his Master’s side. The thought of having to return to the gardens and not see his Master for even longer has him blinking back tears as he comes to a stop before his trainer. He bows and greets the man who greets him with a smile. From his navel down to the base of his cock a single line is formed and then split to connect to the lines on his inner thighs.

“The heart of the aidra will always guide it home back to the Master’s waiting arms.”

Aidra feels his heart leap in his throat. He has to find his own way back to his Master. Glancing down at the fruit in his hand, Aidra feels the urge to confirm his own fears about himself. Closing his eyes, Aidra feels tears forming again. Forcing his eyes open, he runs. He doesn’t know where to go but he knows that if he does a thorough sweep of the city he will find his Master eventually. Glancing up at the sky Aidra’s heart sinks. The slowly setting sun is causing the clouds to glow pink, orange, and red. He has to take a direct route or he won’t make it in time. Swallowing his fear, Aidra continues to run. A group of children runs alongside him again. One of them pulls him toward a back alley and his heart leaps only to sink again as a different child pulls him toward the main road. Pulling away from them he asks them which way his Master is and they all point in different directions. They begin arguing as to who is right all claiming his Master gave them instructions on where he is.

Panic threatens to consume him as Aidra realizes he doesn’t have long to find his Master. He closes his eyes. He can't do this. He wants nothing more than to back at his Master's side. To be held and told that he need not fear. Breathing out deeply, Aidra tunes out the sound of the children’s bickering. Centering himself as best he can, he forces himself to stop thinking and only to feel. He reaches out with his mind tentatively feeling stupid for just standing there- no. No thinking. Focusing on the task at hand, Aidra reaches out more confidently searching for his Master’s presence. His feet move on their own carrying him down the main road a few steps. Then, like a candle in the dark, he feels his Master. Reaching out firmly, Aidra feels his Master’s pride in him for this much. his heart swells with joy. Grabbing onto the feeling of his Master in his mind, Aidra’s eyes snap open and he is running, ignoring the tugging hands of the children and the offers to help guide him. Aidra knows where to go. For a moment he isn't afraid. Rounding a bend in the road and he sees his Master’s litter in the center of the square. Before he has a chance to approach, six palace guards stop his progress.

“You may not approach the Hasaii without permission.”

“Please, I’m his aidra, you have to let me through!”

“He told us not to let you pass.”

“Master, please!”

All is silent for a moment.

“Kneel, aidra,” his Master commands.

Shakily, Aidra falls to his knees, his head bowed.

“What of the Masterless aidra?”

A beat passes and Aidra doesn’t know what to say for a moment. He thinks over everything he did today and opens his mouth, the words coming to him as if from nowhere.

“An aidra with no Master to serve is a thing to be pitied as the role of aidra is to be of service.”

One of the guards steps aside. His heart pounds in his chest.

“What of an aidra’s pleasure?”

“An aidra’s pleasure is to serve their Master. An aidra’s pleasure can only be received from their Master for only the Master can know what the aidra deeply desires and truly needs.”

Another guard steps aside.

“What of an Aidra’s body.”

“Like a delicate flower, an aidra’s body is easily damaged. It is meant to be seen but only touched by those who know how to command it properly.”

The third guard steps aside.

“What of the mind of the aidra?”

“The true mind of an aidra thinks only of the Master, considering only what will make the Master truly content.”

Only two guards block him.

“What of the tongue of the aidra?”

“The tongue of the aidra is sweeter still than the fruit of the Aidra tree as it desires to speak only the truth to its Master.”

There is only a single guard between him and his Master now. He swallows nervously.

“What of the heart of the aidra?

“The heart of the aidra will always guide me home back to your waiting arms my Master.”

The final guard moves aside and Aidra almost stands and runs to his Master but he was told to kneel and hasn’t been given permission to stand yet.

“You have run a long way to come back to my side, my sweet little Aidra,” his Master says with a soft voice.

Aidra shakes with nervous excitement.

"After everything you've been through you still come back to me more than ready to bend to my will."

“Master,” he whispers pleadingly.

“Show me your fruit.”

Aidra forgot about the fruit in his hand until just then. Standing, Aidra approaches his Master, kneeling a respectful distance away from him, he offers up the fruit in both hands with his head bowed. The fruit is plucked from his hands and examined by his Master.

“Stand, let me see your markings.”

Aidra stands, his green eyes briefly meeting his Master’s red ones.

“I’m sorry, Master,” he whispers, averting his gaze.

“You are excited and meant nothing by it. You are forgiven."

"Thank you, Master."

Gloved fingers run along his exposed skin. His eyes flutter shut as he lets himself just feel his Master’s touch.

“You are beautiful as always.”

“Thank you, Master.”

A hand strokes his face gently, a thumb brushes against Aidra's lips.

“Are you afraid that I chose wrong?"

Aidra bows his head in shame.

"I can feel your fear, aidra. Do you not trust me?"

"No, Master," Aidra answers fervently.

"Then why are you scared?"

“I know  I shouldn't be afraid, Master. I don’t know why I am.”

His Master sighs sadly.

“Look at me, Aidra.”

Opening his eyes, Aidra takes in his Master. Shoulder length black hair drawn up into a small bun at the back of his head, revealing his sharp, angular jaw and slightly pointed ears. 

“It is an unfortunate fact of Aidra that go astray that they are deeply affected by the events that take place while away from their Master. In time you will heal, but for a while still, I fear your ability to serve me will be hampered.”

Aidra tears up at his Master’s words. He doesn't want to be away from him for any longer. The thought makes him sick.

“I want to serve you fully, Master, know I can do it.”

For a moment, his Master considers him. A soft smile spreads across his face, wrinkling the corners of his eyes.

“You are still the sweet, sensitive, innocent, naive, pliant, little aidra I remember. Come to me.”

Aidra throws himself into his Master’s arms weeping into his chest. 

“Thank you, Master!”

“Of course, I could never abandon you Micah.”


	2. Memories Unforgotten

His Master sits somewhat stiffly in the litter looking out at the throng of people following them. Aidra lies next to him wanting to touch his Master but needing permission to do so. Speaking is out of the question. Hesitantly, Aidra reaches out with his mind only to be mentally pushed away. Flinching, Aidra curls in on himself. What did he do to make his Master so unhappy? If his Master would just tell him what he did then he could fix it. Aidra clenches his fingers in the soft fabric lining the floor of the litter.

“That name,” his Master says lowly. “Does it mean anything to you?”

He furrows his brows. His Master is concerned about that? Relaxing somewhat at the realization that his Master isn't angry with him, Aidra thinks about it. It is difficult to pull up anything to do with that name. Micah. It sounds so familiar but foreign at the same time. Maybe he knew someone by that name?

“The person the name belongs to wasn’t born here, Master?”

“No.”

"Did I know them, Master?"

"No, you didn't know them."

He thinks harder forcing himself to remember. Gasping in shock Aidra sits up staring at his Master. He doesn’t remember anything, but it has to be.

“Master, was I Micah?”

At that, his Master laughs.

“No, my sweet aidra, you weren’t Micah.”

It wasn’t him? But that’s what his Master called him. Why would he call him Micah if he isn't Micah?

“Do I remind you of him, Master?”

His Master blinks slowly while looking at him.

“Perhaps.”

Aidra wants to push more but he can tell his Master doesn’t want to continue this conversation. Lying back down, Aidra considers the name. Micah. It sounds wrong like it’s doesn’t belong to him. It felt awkward in his mouth when he said it. How silly to think he was named Micah. What a strange name! Tucking the information away Aidra feels a memory force its way into his thoughts.

 _Cassandra is tending to the fire with a long metal rod they found in an abandoned house a few weeks ago. She doesn’t actually need to do that it’s just a distraction. Saris is reading the same book again for what must be the seven thousandth time. Micah has long since given up trying to understand why he likes the book so much. It’s just tragedy after tragedy for the protagonist until he throws himself off a cliff to be with his family again. Personally, Micah has had enough tragedy for a lifetime and he isn’t even thirty yet. Maybe it’s a distraction for Saris like tending the fire is for Cassandra. Something to distract from his own tragedy. Alissa lowers herself heavily down next to him, pulling off her boots. She sighs and warms her hands by the fire._ _  
_

_“I don’t think we’re being followed anymore," she says, rubbing a hand over her face. "Regali is a kingdom away, there is nothing he can do to get to you this far into Cypress without risking outright war.”_

_Micah shivers. That doesn't comfort him even a bit._

_"That didn't stop him last time," Micah replies quietly._

_Cassandra stops poking the fire for a moment and Alissa looks over at him sadly._

_"We're not going to stop moving until there is an ocean between him and you, Micah. I want you to know that, ok?"_

_He nods. Maybe when he was younger he would give her a warm smile, thank her politely, and offer her some of his water. As it stands he only offers her the water. She takes it with a quiet thanks, sipping it. There is an uneasy tension in the air. They are all pretending to be busy as they wait for Gwain to return and try to not think about Micah's statement. All except Micah. He doesn’t want to distract himself anymore. For almost five years his life it was task after task, always busy even at night in bed. There he was expected to keep his Master happy and warm in both the literal and figurative sense. He’s sick of doing things. Sick of waiting for the next command to give purpose to his life. As long as he is alive Kai is going to keep hunting him._

_Everyone stops as footsteps crunch the leaves in the bushes north of them. Micah is ready to bolt as Saris puts his book down and nocks an arrow. Cassandra has a hand on her hilt and Alissa slips back into the shadows of the trees behind him. They form a loose triangle around him ready to protect him even if it means dying._ _  
_

_“Don’t shoot, it's just me!”_

_Gwain steps out of the bushes hands raised in surrender. Saris lowers his bow shaking his head._

_“Maybe if you didn’t stomp around so much I wouldn’t shoot you accidentally.”_

_“I still have a scar from that,” Gwain pouts._ _  
_

_“It’s a wonder he hasn’t led them back to us with how loud he is,” Cassandra mutters going back to poking the fire. "I wouldn't be surprised if they could hear him all the way in fucking Fairwall."_

_“Hey!" Gwain shouts indignantly._

_“Language!” Alissa chides. “It is disrespectful to swear in front of Micah!”_

_“Do you give a shit, Micah?” Cassandra asks, leaning back against the log behind her._

_He glances up at her and looks back at the fire._

_“I don’t care. I’m not who I was anymore.”_

Fingers run through his hair as the memory ends. Why would he remember something like that, he wonders? Who do the memories belong to? The names of the people strike a cord in him but he doesn’t know why. Why were they running away from Regali? Did they kidnap the person he was seeing the memory through? Was that Micah? Did something happen to Micah that was like what happened to him? He remembers that four thieves had stolen him from his Master but the pleasant if somewhat melancholic feeling to the memory doesn’t mesh with what he knows is true. He was stolen by four thieves who dragged him away from his Master’s safety and raped him. This Micah and his companions are clearly very close.

Another memory claws its way forward.

_Micah pulls hard against the ropes holding him spread out on the bed. His wrists are raw from struggling and his heart pounds like a frightened rabbit’s does while being chased by a ravenous wolf. Some time ago, Micah was stripped of his clothes and left bare save for a pair of short pants that barely cover anything. The door opens and Micah’s heart leaps into his throat. Five people enter the room all with floggers in hand. Hasaii Kai enters the room and sits on the head of the bed pulling Micah’s head into his lap._

_“My beautiful aidra,” the Hasaii sighs happily, stroking Micah’s hair out of his face. “What is your role in life?”_

_Clenching his jaw, Micah steels his nerve._

_“I am the fourth child of my father, fourth in l-”_

_He gasps as he is hit across the chest, stomach, and thighs hard, as well as the crotch, much softer, but equally as painful._ _  
_ _“You are an aidra, little one. My aidra,” Hasaii Kai corrects. “Now tell me, what is your role?”_

_“I am the fourth child of my father, t-”_

_He is hit again but doesn't make any sound this time instead he grits his teeth._

_“You are my aidra,” the Hasaii says again. “Tell me your role.”_

_This continues for what feels like hours as the unending strikes and the same words, repeated until he feels like they are the only words he’s heard in his life, wear away at his mind. If he answers ‘wrong’ he is struck, if he hesitates he is struck, if he is silent he is struck. He just wants them to stop._ _  
_

_“You are my aidra, tell me your role.”_

_Pause. Strike._

_“You are my aidra, tell me your role.”_

_Pause. Strike._

_“You are my aidra, tell me your role.”_

_Pause. Strike._ _  
_

_“Y-”_ _  
_

_“No more, please,” Micah whimpers._ _  
_

_The Hasaii strokes his tear-stained cheeks._ _  
_

_“It will be over when you tell the truth. What is your role, little one?”_

_Micah blinks as fresh tears flow down his face._

_“I-I am your a-aidra, Hasaii.”_

_Cool hands soothe his heated skin and he blinks back more tears as he feels a part of him curl up in shame._ _  
_

_“Very good, my sweet aidra. What about before you were my aidra?”_

_The soothing hands disappear. He struggles with himself. Another strike in five places rips a sob from him._

_“Nothing! I wasn’t anything before I was your aidra, Hasaii!”_

_The soothing hands are back and Micah relaxes slightly._

_“You were lost as all aidra are without a Master. But you have been found and now I will guide you. Do you understand, aidra?”_

_“Yes, Hasaii,” Micah whispers, wishing for nothing more than to tell the Hasaii to go fuck himself on a rusty blade, but he can’t take any more of the flogging right now._

_“What is your name?”_

_“Micah, Hasaii,” he states._

_The strikes hurt more when there is a break in between them he realizes._ _  
_

_“What is your name?”_

_“Micah!”_

_He screams and thrashes against the ropes desperate to get away as another set of strikes land. His wrists feel slick under the ropes and he struggles fruitlessly against them._

_“What is your name, aidra?”_

_“It’s Micah, I don’t know w-”_

_He is struck again and he collapses against the bed sobbing._ _  
_

_“What is your name?”_

_“Aidra!”_ _  
_

_He tenses for the strikes that don't come. After a few moments, he opens his eyes and looks up at the Hasaii’s red ones. It’s a common trait he realizes noticing a few other pairs of red eyes looking at the Hasaii. The man’s hand is up halting the floggers while his other hand strokes Micah’s face._

_“Yes, my dearest Aidra, you are right.”_ _  
_

_All tension leaves his body as soothing hands touch his face and inflamed skin._

_“And what a beautiful name it is. All will know your place at my side.”_

_“Yes, Hasaii,” he can’t stop agreeing with the man. It’s a defense._

_“Now, tell me your name and role then address me properly. Do you know how to, Aidra?”_

_Shaking his head, Aidra cringes at the gentle slap he receives._

_“When I ask you a question, answer me with words and at the end of a sentence addressing me, you must use ‘Master.’”_

_He feels his self-control snap like a twig._ _  
_

_“Go fuck yourself,” Micah growls at him._

_His body jerks with pain at the strikes he receives. The Hasaii looks on dispassionately._ _  
_

_“Before we can move on you will apologize and beg me for forgiveness.”_ _  
_

_“Go fuck yourself.”_

_The strikes are harder now and there are two sets of strikes back to back before the Hasaii speaks._

_“I will let you speak without interruption from me. Until you learn to control yourself, you will be punished.”_

_With that, the Hasaii leaves him alone with the five airedi._

_“FUCK YOU!” Micah shouts after him._

_He gasps and squirms at the pain he receives. It is not at all worth the pain when the object of his abuse isn’t even there to hear it. He can only stop himself from caving for so long. He tries to keep up the verbal abuse, but eventually, he forces himself to be quiet. His body jerks against the pain as tears leak down the sides of his face and his throat is raw from screaming. In a way, he almost doesn’t feel the pain anymore it’s just the way things are for him. His mind feels like it’s floating away from his body, refusing to handle the continuous pain. As he floats he realizes there are other things here too. Something tells him not to touch them. For some reason though, he can't stop himself from reaching out to brush against it. Everything snaps into focus when he feels something reaching for his mind. He startles and tries to flee the grasping fingers. His terrified flight no match for the calm precision of the other person’s mind. He is forced back into his body. The pain is fresh, new, unending. It feels like his head is going to explode all the sensations he was blocking out flooding his senses all at once. In a desperate bid to make it stop, Aidra screams._ _  
_

_“PLEASE! I AM SORRY, MASTER! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!”_

_Once he starts begging he can’t stop himself. He babbles incoherently. The pain is overwhelming. He can’t take it. He realizes the strikes have stopped when the tips of someone's fingers run along his bare shoulder toward his face._

_“Oh, Aidra,” his Master whispers, wiping away the tears on Aidra’s face. “I wish you weren’t so stubborn.”_ _  
_

_“I’m sorry, Master, please forgive me, please no more pain, please, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”_

_His Master shushes him gently._

_“I forgive you, my sweet little Aidra.”_

_He bursts into tears, sobbing uncontrollably._

_“Thank you, thank you, thank you…”_ _  
_

_He repeats like a prayer until he has calmed down enough to almost stop crying as his Master shushes him again._

_“What is your name?”_

_“My name is Aidra, Master.”_

_“Is that your only name?”_

_“Yes, Master,” he breathes reverently without hesitating._

_“Where do you belong?”_ _  
_

_“At your side, Master,” he is crying again as the pain in his body begins to melt away._

_“Do you belong anywhere else?”_ _  
_

_“Only if you command me to, Master,” he feels the tension leaving his body._

_“Who am I?”_ _  
_

_“Master,” he cries out as sweet blissful nothing replaces the pain._

_“You did well today, Aidra. Tomorrow we will repeat. Do you understand?”_

_Aidra tugs against the ropes nervously._

_“Please, Master,” he whispers._

_“Please what, my aidra?”_

_“No more pain, Master. Please, no more pain.”_

_“All you have to do is obey and there will be no more pain unless you want it.”_

_“Thank you, Master.”_

He breathes heavily at the intensity of his memory. Pain and horror cloud his mind. His Master is holding his head not too dissimilarly from in the memory.

“What were you thinking about, aidra?”

Taking a few steadying breaths the feelings from the memory fading.

“T-the first day of training, Master.”

“Ahhh, I remember that day well. I remember feeling so proud of you. When you finally let go of the lies you were fed by the people outside these walls I felt like I would burst with pride.”

His Master opens his mind enough for Aidra experience the overwhelming pride his Master felt in him that day. He blushes and hides his face.

“Don’t hide from me,” his Master says playfully tickling his sides.

“Ahhh, don’t tickle me! I don’t like it when you do that, Master!

_“Don’t tickle me, mama, I don’t like it!” Micah cries._

_“Don’t hide when I call you!” she says giggling as she scoops him up in her arms._ _  
_

_“You tickle me too much! You make it hard for me to breathe!”_

_She cuddles him as she walks._

_“I’m sorry, Micah, I don’t mean to do that, I get a little carried away sometimes._

He gasps for breath, laughter subsiding as his Master pulls his hands away from his sides.

“I got a little carried away, didn't I?” his Master asks.

He hears the echoes of the woman’s voice in his head. It is odd, the memory of his training is different than it should be, he realizes.

“What’s wrong, Aidra?”

“Is it possible to remember someone else’s memories, Master?”

His Master sucks in a breath. He stares down at Aidra thinking hard.

“What are you remembering?”

“A group of five. The one I was seeing the memory through was named Micah. And the same with the training. And just now I remembered Micah’s mother tickling him the way you were tickling me, Master.”

His Master looks away. He can see the man clench and unclench his jaw repeatedly.

“Yes. It is possible to remember another’s memories,” the man chokes out, voice thick.

“I’m sorry for bringing it up, Master, I am distressing you.”

“No, I’m glad you told me.”

They are silent as Aidra curls up next to his Master. He can’t help his curiosity. He sits up and kneels next to his Master.

“Was Micah your first aidra, Master?”

His Master breathes out heavily.

“Yes, he was."

“Do I look like him, Master?”

“You could be his twin.”

Aidra ponders that. He is a replacement. Maybe it should bother him, but he can't bring himself to be bothered if it makes his Master happy.

“What happened to him?”

“The same thing that happened to you. I was too late in saving him.”

Aidra bows his head.

“I’m sorry, Master. I can tell from his memories that you loved him even if he didn’t believe it.”

His Master doesn’t reply, instead, he plays with Aidra's braid, using it to tickle Aidra's freckled nose and cheeks causing him to squirm and giggle uncontrollably. As the litter is lowered to the ground, his Master drops his braid and steps out onto the stairs of the palace. Aidra follows silently behind his Master. The people in his memory must have made Micah think he was safe and attacked him when his guard was down. If he is right in his assumption they killed his Master’s other Aidra when they were done with him then they were executed by his Master for their defilement and murder of his Aidra.

“Bathe before coming into bed with me tonight. I want to be able to hold you without having to smell the dirt from the city on your skin.”

“Of course Master, I will return to you as soon as I am finished.”

Walking through the palace is nothing new to him, he's spent half a decade of his life roaming these halls with his Master. Despite that, he feels as if this time is different. The airedi move aside for him as he strides confidently toward the bath. A few airedi are already there filling the tub for him. He sits by the edge of the bath and runs his fingers through the hot water. He sighs contentedly as he sinks into the steaming hot water. Airedi don't really like aidra for some reason. Most of them bid him a polite if a bit forced goodbye. All but one. A female airedi who is looking through the cabinets searching for something. Her red hair is braided down to her waist. The color is familiar to him but he can’t place where from. Turning around, she freezes in her tracks. She is from Micah’s memories. The jar of soap she was holding slips through her grip and shatterers on the floor. Her name isn’t coming to him right away. What was her name?

“Micah?” She whispers.

He remembers her voice from Micah’s memories and it still takes a moment to place it.

“Alissa.”


	3. Take a Deep Breath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed Miach to Micah because I misspelled it.

She gathers up the shards of broken pottery quickly, glancing at him in confusion before fleeing the room. Sinking into the water, Aidra stares after her. What the hell just happened? Why didn’t his Master have her executed? Why is she allowed near him after what she and her friends did to his namesake? He calms himself down with the realization that his Master would never do anything that would lead to his harm. Taking a deep breath, Aidra allows himself to relax. He takes his hair out of its braid, running his fingers through it to get rid of any knots. Memories bubble to the surface of his thoughts but he forces them back down refusing to be haunted by a dead man’s life. He’s had enough tragedy for a lifetime and he doesn’t need anyone else’s. It’s hard to force the memories back down without some sort of distraction. He finds himself wishing Alissa hadn’t left if only to stop from remembering.

“Micah, is that you?”

Aidra jumps. Whipping around he sees Alissa standing hesitantly in the doorway. She looks like she’s ready to flee. Swallowing his nerves he wets his lips.

“It’s you again,” he says, forcing himself to relax. “Can you bring me soap and a brush?”

She stares at him in awe. It makes his pulse quicken for some reason.

“You’re alive.”

Aidra purses his lips, not letting on how weird this situation is making him feel.

“I’m not Micah. You and your friends murdered him in cold blood after you raped him. My name is Aidra, not Micah.”

For a moment he thinks she is going to run away again. Half of him wants her to so the tightness in his chest will go away. The other half wants to grab her hand and touch her face to confirm that he isn’t hallucinating. She rushes over to the edge of the tub and kneels down in front of him. He suppresses the urge to reach out and touch her.

“What did he do to you?” she whispers. “Do you really believe that Cassandra or Gwain would even consider laying a hand on you if you didn’t want them to? The only thing they wanted was to help you! To make you happy! They loved you.”

Aidra startles at her word, staring at her. How could they love Micah? They took him away from his Master and convinced him that his Master was the one harming him.

“What?”

“I love you too,” she whispers.

Furrowing his brows, Aidra looks down at the water in the tub. They loved Micah? His heart flutters at her words swallowing thickly he looks back up at her.

“I would never let anyone touch me without our Master’s approval.”

She recoils as if he slapped her. His heart aches. Why does he care how she reacts to things like this? So what? If it weren’t for her and her friends, his Master’s first aidra would be where he is now, safe in his Master’s palace, preparing himself to accompany his Master in bed. Perhaps he should actually slap her. He pushes that thought away. Why would he think that? Why wouldn’t he? Closing his eyes for a moment, Aidra tries to gather his thoughts. He needs to know why she is here. Taking a good look at her he finally notices her dark green and black trimmed clothes.

“You’re one of General Tali’s airedi,” He states.

Her jaw drops.

“W-what?” she stutters. “How did you know?”

Gesturing at her clothes he shrugs.

“I know the colors of all the generals in Regali and black signifies airedi. Even without the black trim, it is obvious you aren’t an aidra or an aiparo.”

She furrows her brows.

“How is it obvious?”

Aidra rolls his eyes and laughs. When she doesn’t join him he stops.

“You seriously don’t know?”

Shaking her head she gives him a confused look.

“Aiparo don’t enter their Master’s home unless they need to fix something, let alone another Master’s home, and aidra never fill tubs for other aidra, only for their Masters, and they rarely leave their Master’s estate without their Master to accompany them. When they do leave their Master’s estate they even more rarely leave their Master’s side.”

“Oh.”

They fall into an uncomfortable silence. She shifts subtly and he clears his throat.

“I need to finish my bath soon or my Master will come looking for me.”

She picks up on the implication that his Master will find out about her meeting him. Standing up she busies herself with getting him some soap and a scrub brush. Once she is done she glances at the door considering running again but she takes her place next to the counter ready to help him with anything he may need. He washes off with the brush while thinking absently about Micah. What was he like? Did he have weird habits that other people picked up on but he didn’t? What was his favorite thing to do when he couldn’t sleep? Did he love his Master the way Aidra does? What happened to him?

“You didn’t kill Micah, obviously.”

She rolls her eyes and acts shocked.

“No way! I didn’t murder my friend?” she mutters sarcastically. “It should be obvious considering the fact that I’m talking to Micah right now.”

“I’m not Micah.”  
“Yes, you are. Your voice is the same, your hair is the same shade of wheat that Micah’s is, your eyes are as green as his, you have the same freckles, and the way you talk is the same. You are Micah.”

Shaking his head, Aidra squares his shoulders.

“I have two sets of memories, one for me, one for Micah. How could that be possible if I’m Micah?”

She clenches her jaw.

“We both know that Masters can manipulate the minds of aidra. You told me so when you first met me.

_Alissa offers him a cup of tea which he takes with a quiet thank you. They are quiet for a long moment as they look up at the stars. She-_

“No,” Aidra growls, gritting his teeth. No more memories.

“Yes, they can. I know for a fact that they can because I’ve seen it with my own two eyes. Tali made his aidra beg to be punished even though she had been refusing to be punished.”

Aidra shakes his head, sinking into the water to warm his shoulders.

“They can’t remove memories or give people new ones.”

She gives him a look of disbelief. 

“How would you know? I doubt your _Master_ tells you anything important.”

“Why would they let you keep your memories of Micah if they could just take them away?”

She opens her mouth to speak but then closes it and folds her arms across her chest thinking about it. Her brows are furrowed as she tries to come up with a counter-argument.

“It helps my case.”

He stands up letting the water run off him, she averts her gaze quickly covering her eyes with her hand. She’s seen him naked, hasn’t she? It doesn’t matter if she sees him or not. It’s what he is made for. Like a piece of delicate pottery, or a beautiful painting. Seen but not touched. He feels his stomach flutter. Why would he want anyone other than his Master to touch him? He feels sick at the thought.

“He can’t take away your memories of being Micah. You remember because you are Micah.”

Sighing to himself, Aidra steps up, out of the tub. 

“Can you hand me a towel?”

“You’re avoiding answering because I’m right and you know it.”

Aidra ignores her in favor of grabbing a towel for himself.

“Master’s can’t give you false memories either.”

“You can’t prove that.”

“Maybe you choose to doubt your Master, but I trust him to tell me the truth, or the thing nearest the truth that I need to properly serve him.”

Her face contorts in anger.

“You don’t care if he lies to you?” she exclaims.

“The full truth is reserved for those who need it. If I need the truth, then my Master will give it to me, if not then I won’t second guess his judgment.”

Turning away from her teary gaze, Aidra drys his hair on the towel then combing it out.

“You can’t mean that,” she denies. “I know that some part of you hates it with everything in you. I also know that he sunk those feelings under an ocean of conditioning. If you are still Micah somewhere inside you. Then please, meet me at the fountain. Telling him that you want to visit the garden and come see me.”

At that, she leaves the room. She wants him to lie to his Master. He can’t do that. Besides, the last thing he wants right now is to be away from his Master. Putting the comb down on the counter, he walks toward his Master’s rooms.

Knocking gently on the door, Aidra kneels beside the door and waits for his Master’s permission to enter. His Master is busy with many other things, most of which are above him in his Master’s list of priorities. Once his Master has finished his business for the night he will invite Aidra in. He remembers one time he fell asleep next to the door because it took his Master almost the whole night to finish a meeting with his generals. He woke up to his Master slapping him across the face. Aidra smiles softly to himself as he remembers his Master whipping him while he begged for forgiveness.

Of course, punishment is forgiveness. He didn’t understand that back then. ‘How can a Master care for his Aidra properly if he still feels anger towards them?’ That was how his Master explained it to him after Aidra had tearfully asked why punishment is a necessary part of a Master and Aidra’s relationship. It makes perfect sense to Aidra now. If the Master forgives the Aidra without letting go of his anger, he will still feel that anger. Eventually, he will be consumed by his fury and possibly cause the death of the Aidra.

After he had been forgiven, his Master had laid him out on the bed and laid gentle kisses on the welts and broken skin of his back before taking Aidra’s cock into his mouth. That had been the first time his Master had done that to him. He had enjoyed it despite his attempts to stop his Master from doing so. His Master had surprised him by swallowing his cum and kissing him sweetly on the lips. Afterward, he gave his body to his Master shyly with tears in his eyes. His heart skips a beat as he remembers the way his Master held him so as not to hurt his back while they made love.

He buries his face in his hands at the memory. His stomach does little flips from excitement and his heart pounds against his ribs. Putting a hand to his heart, he tries to calm himself down. He can’t seem to stop his nervous excitement at the prospect of being touched by his Master. He shakes his head. His hands tremble as he runs fingers through his drying hair. His head feels light and his breathing is fast and shallow. He feels the ghost of fingers on his body and blood red eyes staring hungrily at him. Bending over, he throws up what little food is in his stomach. His Master’s door is flung open and hands pull him up off the ground, away from the puddle of vomit he hangs limply in his Master’s arms forcing himself to take deep breaths. He is vaguely aware of his Master saying something as he passes out.

His mind drifts aimlessly in the void. Periodically, thoughts enter his mind only to slip away like water through a cloth. All that is left is the impression of them. Occasionally, it is memories that he sees but those are even more fleeting than the thoughts. For a while, he just lets himself exist. 

“ _Micah,”_

He feels another memory comes to him.

_“What a beautiful name.”_

Aidra feels the memory slipping away. He feels panic rise in him at the thought of this memory leaving him for some reason. He needs to remember this.

_“Thank you, Hasaii,” he says with a shy smile._

_Micah had seen the Hasaii from a distance when he, his father, and his mother had arrived in the throne room. The man is, even more, intimidating up close than he was sitting on his throne._

_“Will-”_

The words are already fading. Desperately, he grabs for it missing at first but just barely grabbing it before it goes away.

_“-trees are blooming this time of year.”_

_“My father will want to know where I am,” he replies with a slight frown._

_The Hasaii nods, smiling down at him._

_“I will have one of my airedi inform him of your whereabouts.”_

_As he says this one of the blue and black clad people that are following him steps away with a bow and hurries to inform the King of Barth of Micah’s walk with the Hasaii._

_“I haven’t even agreed to anything yet, Hasaii Kai,” Micah points out, annoyed by the Hasaii’s assumption._

_“Forgive me for presuming your intent, little prince,” the Hasaii bows slightly. “I will have another of my airedi inform your father that you won’t be with me.”_

_Micah huffs as another airedi moves to leave._ _  
_

_“No, it’s fine. I’d rather not bother my father more than necessary. I was going to go outside anyway.”_

_Kai stops the airedi with a raised hand, a triumphant smile on his face._

_“Excellent. You will like the gardens, I’ve heard from some of my generals’ aidra that it even rival the Aidra Garden.”_

_The Hasaii offers Micah a hand. He hesitates. His mother doesn’t like it when the Hasaii goes near him but his father trusts the man enough to bring Micah along to Regali. Micah worries his lip. Maybe he should trust the man too? Besides, Micah thinks as he reaches out, I have my chaperones with me, he wouldn’t do anything to me with them around. Micah slips his hand into the Hasaii’s. Kai squeezes it gently and gives him a soft smile. Micah’s chaperones hover around him nervously. The group of Micah with his chaperones and Hasaii Kai with his airedi walk through the palace at a casual pace. out into the warm spring sun. The Hasaii wasn’t lying. In front of them, the gardens are in full bloom. Small hedges with tiny white and pink flowers line the flagstone paths that snake past well-groomed bushes and rows of flowers in every color he has ever seen. Here and there a marble statue stands out in stark contrast to the vibrant colors around them. A gazebo sits in the center of a small lake, a stone bridge connects the gazebo to the land. From a copse of trees a group of birds chattering to each other excitedly._   
_The two of them walk along the path enjoying the gentle breeze. Whenever Micah looks at a plant for more than a few seconds the Hasaii will tell him its name as well as a few interesting facts about it. Eventually, they arrive at a statue of a kneeling person with a cloth draped around them. They are cupping their hands loosely in front of them while staring reverently up at something. There is a plaque set into the base of the statue. Letting go of the Hasaii’s hand, Micah looks at it only to realize it is written in Regali._

_“What does it say?” Micah asks running a finger along the lettering._

_The Hasaii doesn’t even glance at the plaque as he answers._

_“‘The First Aidra’s Submission.’ There is another statue of them in the city center. In truth, there was no first aidra, but it makes for a striking name.”_ _  
_

_Micah looks up at the face of the person._

_“Who were they?”_

_“The subject of the statue? That is lost to time I'm afraid. It is one of the first aidra in recorded history. It is believed that the sculptor made the statue in their own aidra’s likeness.”_ _  
_

_“What was that aidra’s name?”_ _  
_

_The Hasaii stands next to him._ _  
_

_“That too has been lost to time.”_

_They are both quiet for a moment._ _  
_

_“What is an aidra?” Micah blurts out._ _  
_

_Kai looks down at him but doesn’t respond right away._

_“How old are you, Micah?”_

_Furrowing his brows, Micah wonders what this has to do with his question._

_“I just turned eleven two months ago.”_

_The Hasaii smiles warmly at him._

_“I would have thought you were older. You are very smart and mature.”_

_Micah stands a little taller. Kai bends down and picks a small flower with a long, thin stem. He kneels down in front of Micah holding the flower for him to see._

_“Think of aidra like this flower. This flower is beautiful and pleasing to everyone around it. It is fine if everyone looks at the flower, but what happens if everyone were to touch the flower?”_

_Micah thinks it over for a second._

_“It would lose some of its petals.”_ _  
_

_“Yes, it would lose some of its petals and become damaged. Eventually, the flower will be destroyed if touched too much. But, if someone who knows how to handle the flower comes along it is fine if they touch it. They know how not to damage it.”_

_“So if I met an aidra I’m not supposed to touch them?”_

_“Only if their Master lets you,” the Hasaii says with a small smile._

_“What is someone accidentally damages the flower? Are they broken?”_

_Hasaii Kai shakes his head._ _  
_

_“Of course not. An aidra’s Master knows how best to care for them in all things. If they are harmed by someone, the Master can help them heal.”_

_“What if the aidra doesn’t like their Master?” Micah asks looking at the Hasaii._ _  
_

_“Aidra don’t leave their Masters,” Kai responds lightly._ _  
_

_“Why not?”_ _  
_

_The Hasaii considers the flower in his hand._

_“What will happen to this flower a few days from now?”_ _  
_

_“It will wilt and die, Hasaii.”_

_“This flower is an apt analogy for what happens to an aidra taken away from their Master. They slowly fade and die, becoming husks that aren’t quite whole.”_ _  
_

_One of Micah’s chaperones steps in._ _  
_

_“I respectfully ask that you end this conversation with Prince Micah, Hasaii.”_

_Kai sighs, tucking the flower behind Micah’s ear._ _  
_

_“Come, there is still much to see.”_

_Micah goes to take the Hasaii’s hand but his chaperones stop him. As Micah walks away he looks up at the aidra’s face in the statue. It looks like they are crying._

_They walk side by side. The Hasaii goes back to telling Micah about the various flowers that they pass. They reach the stone bridge leading to the gazebo. Micah hesitates._

_“Come along, I’ll show you the fish.”_

_Micah bites his lip._

_“I don’t know how to swim, Hasaii.”_

_The Hasaii takes his hand much to the displeasure of Micah’s chaperones._

_“I won’t let you fall in and neither will any of my airedi.”_ _  
_

_Micah had all but forgotten about the dozen blue and black-clad people following the Hasaii because they were so quiet._

_“You promise?”_

_“I won’t let any harm come to you, Micah.”_ _  
_

_“Like a Master won’t let any harm come to their aidra?” Micah asks innocently._ _  
_

_Micah’s chaperones immediately pull him away from the Hasaii before he can respond._ _  
_

_“He has tutoring to attend,” one of them says as they hurry him away from the Hasaii._

_“I wouldn’t mind your company again in the future, Micah,” the Hasaii calls out to him._

_Micah looks over his shoulder at the Hasaii. he is smiling, a hand raised in farewell. Once they are back inside the palace one of his chaperones kneels down in front of him._

_“Don’t ever say anything like that again to anyone, do you understand me, Prince Micah?”_

_“Why not?” Micah asks, confused by the look of concern on his chaperone’s face._

_“There is a lot that his explanation left out about aidra,” the man states darkly._

Aidra jerks awake. His Master leans over him, fingertips barely touching the edge of his jaw. They move down his throat and along his collarbones. 

“I’m glad you’re alright, Aidra. When I felt your mind slipping, I was worried that I had lost you again.”

Aidra is still under his Master thinking over this latest memory. His predecessor was the third son of Barth fourth in line to the throne after his two brothers and older sister. 

“It is good that you aren’t recoiling from me anymore. You had a relapse didn’t you?”

Aidra blinks his eyes as tears try to form.

“Speak, aidra.”

“I’m sorry, Master.”

His Master shushes him, cupping his face while gently rubbing his thumb into Aidra’s cheek.

“It’s ok. You’re safe now. I’ll help you forget what happened.”

Aidra’s heart seizes in his chest as slick fingers pull out of him. 

“I prepared you while you were asleep. I know how impatient you get when I prepare you.”

Aidra doesn’t understand the feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach as his Master spreads Aidra’s legs around his waist. He wants this. He does. His Master always gives him what he wants. The feeling of dread slowly fades. 

“Take a deep breath for me, Aidra.”

He doesn’t hesitate to follow his Master’s command. He feels the head of his Master’s cock pushing against his entrance. As he breathes out it pushes into him slowly. As the air escapes his lungs so does his ability to form any coherent thought. Aidra sighs happily as his Master seats himself fully in him. He feels complete. There is a bit of pain as his Master moves but everything his Master gives him is to his benefit. His Master has never done anything to harm him yet and he won’t start now. When his Master chokes him he feels light-headed with ecstasy, and when his Master bites his shoulder he gasps in pleasure, and when his Master pins his hands above his head to stop him from trying to shove him away, Aidra cries joyously. It comes to an end when his Master cums inside of him. Aidra is pulled into the man’s lap tears still flowing down his face.

“Did you enjoy that, little one?”

“Yes, Master,” Aidra answers after thinking over his memories.

He remembers enjoying it. He enjoyed it. 

“Thank you, Master,” Aidra whispers as he curls up against the man’s chest.

His memories can’t lie to him. Other people can, his Master can, he can even lie to himself, but his memories can’t lie to him. His Master smiles against the top of his head, placing a kiss there. 

“Of course, Aidra.”


	4. Trapped in Your Mind

Aidra squirms as he feels his Master tickling him. The cloud of sleep in his mind clears away quickly as he laughs uncontrollably.

“Please, no more, Master!” Aidra manages with a gasp.

“If you woke up on time then I wouldn’t have to do it in the first place.”

Aidra pouts at him and huffs quietly as his Master pushes a piece of fruit against Aidra's lips. When his stomach growls, Aidra decides to put the conversation on the back burner for the time being. He lets his Master feed him the various fruits and nuts on the tray until he feels full. Before Aidra can tell his Master he can't eat anymore, his Master straddles Aidra's hips and plants a chaste kiss on his mouth. A hand curls in Aidra's hair and pulls his head back. Mouthing at the skin of Aidra throat, the Hasaii whispers to him.

"If you had woken up before eleven we could have made love."

Tensing slightly, Aidra bites his lip. Letting go of Aidra, his Master sits up and gazes down at Aidra.

"Next time I won't wake you up for breakfast."

They stare at each other until Aidra realizes that his master is deadly serious.

“You wouldn't really do that, Master?” 

His Master shrugs slightly, staying mostly expressionless.

"But I'd be hungry, Master. I need food to survive!"

Quirking a brow his Master fixes him with an odd look. 

"You need what  _I_ decide you need, aidra. Nothing more nothing less."

"But I  _would_ die without food, Master!"

A small smile spreads across his Master's face.

"Calm yourself, little one, I jest. Though not about letting you sleep through breakfast."

Changing tactic, Aidra glances off to the side.

"It's not my fault that I couldn't sleep, Master."

“Oh? What caused your extended slumber then?"

Looking away from his Master for a moment, Aidra tries to speak but can't bring himself to do it with his Master on top of him. Sighing, his Master stands, steps over to the desk, and looks through the papers on it. 

“Whose fault is it, little one?”

Swallowing his fear, Aidra finally speaks.

“If you hadn’t done that thing last night with the breathing I wouldn’t have slept so long, Master.”

His Master gives him a withering look over his shoulder and Aidra shrinks back into the sheets.

“I was helping you relax. Your emotions tend to be overwhelming, even for me. If you need help calming down, then I am more than happy to help. That being said, I have never known you to wake up before noon unprompted.”

Staring at the ceiling, Aidra feels frustrated. That’s not right. He always wakes up early. He knows that sleeping in is unusual for him. None of his memories fit with that, hell, he can't seem to remember anything to do with waking up aside from this morning. Not even yesterday morning. Digging deeper he realizes that none of the memories seem to even exist. His heart rate increases as he claws for some hint that he had something before this. Anything before this!

His Master’s hand playing with his hair startles him. His heart slows back to a normal pace. Why it was even beating so fast in the first place is a mystery that he shrugs off quickly. He would remember it if it was important. 

“You are distracted this morning, my aidra. Did you hear what I just said?”

Shaking his head, Aidra worries his lip.

“No, Master, I’m sorry.”

“We are going to meet with the council of thirteen today. I expect you to behave.”

“Yes, Master.”

“You will pay attention to the proceedings. We are putting the rapist and murderer of an aidra on trial. He was found guilty of the crimes yesterday. You and the other aidra of the council will decide on his punishment.”

“I understand, Master.”

Aidra stares at his Master's chest as he speaks. There a softness to the way that his Master is touching him. His eyes flutter closed and he feels himself drift. He feels so warm and safe right here. Taking a short nap will be fine. Aidra flails and screeches as his Master tickles his sides again. He can see the amused exasperation on his Master’s face.

“Don’t go back to sleep, the trial is at noon.”

“But I'm still tired, Master!”

Rolling his eyes, his Master offers Aidra a hand.

“Come, let’s get you dressed.”

It doesn’t take long for Aidra to get his clothes on even with his Master tickling his sides when Aidra tried to pull his loose shirt over his head. They are gone before either can hear a quiet groan from the balcony.

They walk silently, Aidra three steps behind his Master. All of the airedi part for his Master as they pass; They bow deeply before hurrying back to their duties. His Master ignores them completely as he leads Aidra to the council chambers. The doors are opened for them by a pair of Palace Guards. Aidra ducks his head when one of the guards smiles and gives him a small nod. He doesn't recognize the guard.

Looking up at the room around him, he takes in the large pit in the middle of it. A cage big enough for even his six foot seven Master to fit in if he crouched down is in the pit. Around him, there are thirteen chairs lining the circular walls of the room overlooking the pit and the cage. One of the chairs is empty for his Master, the Hasaii. A waist-high railing lines the pit. He has been here before.

Furrowing his brows, Aidra tries to remember but can’t. It’s like something is holding his memory back. Maybe it’s one of Micah’s memories. If that's the case, it’s for the better that Aidra doesn’t pry. Micah deserves at least that small bit of privacy after it was ripped from him. It’s better to let the dead rest in peace.

Aidra sits on the ground next to his Master as he takes his seat. A pair of Palace Guards wait in the lower part of the room with the empty cage. A dozen other aidra are there, a few of them are kneeling next to each other talking quietly. He hasn't had many people to talk with aside from his Master. His heart clenches. He wants to go home. Closing his eyes, he does his best to recall what home looks like. His memories are blank. Growing frustrated, Aidra furrows his brows and frowns in concentration. He can’t remember what his home looks like, only the impression of a kind voice and a flash of magenta.

“-have been brought before a jury of aidra. After they have heard of your actions they will convene and hand down your sentence,” his Master states.

Aidra’s attention is drawn to the man curled up in the cage. He is quivering uncontrollably and shaking his head.

“You will be allowed to defend yourself in front of them, but I can safely say they won’t be forgiving. Read the charges.”

One of the generals stands and holds a piece of parchment out in front of him.

“You have been accused of kidnapping, concealing, raping, and murdering the honorable Hasaii’s aidra. How do you plead?”

Aidra stares up in shock at his Master who only acknowledges him by stroking his hair.

“I never did anything to hurt him, let alone rape him! He asked me to have sex with him. We both wanted to do it! Kidnapping? He convinced us to take him away from Kai! He was terrified of the Hasaii. Most nights he didn’t sleep because of the suffocating nigh-”

“Silence!” the Hasaii shouts.

The man flinches.

“You murder my Aidra, force yourself on him, confuse him, and kill him then have the gall to claim that I was the one who hurt him.”

The Man looks half terrified half furious.

"Hurt? Hurt! You absolutely decimated his soul! Everything you did, caused him pain! He couldn't even enjoy fruit because it reminded him of you! Yo-"

"I SAID SILENCE!"

The Hasaii is standing now glaring down at the man with unconcealed rage and loathing.

His Master takes a few calming breaths. "You killed him. Because of you, I can never have Micah back. He is dead. That is undeniably your fault."

“Micah isn’t dead, he’s right there.”

Aidra stiffens. The man is pointing at him. His Master pulls Aidra to his feet.

"Him? He isn't Micah, he arrived here terrified of my touch. When I spoke to him, he cowered, when I tried to enter his mind he shut me out. It took me a month to stop his agonized sobbing. A month to piece him back together. A month to realize just how horribly you destroyed him. By the time I was done, he barely recognized me as anything more than his Master. His mind was shattered by what you and your friends did to him. It is a miracle I was able to save what little of him I could."

Aidra's brain chooses that moment to stop functioning properly. Tears form in the corners of his eyes. Oh fuck. Holy shit. What the hell? How? What the fuck? Before he can speak his Master gently strokes his face. 

"It's alright, Aidra. Take deep breathes. We can talk about this later. If you ask me later I will tell you what you need to know."

Through all of this, the man stares in horror at Aidra. Following his Master's instructions, Aidra finds his mind pleasantly blank. 

“Do you recognize this man?”

Glancing in the direction of the man, Aidra’s first thought is no and he opens his mouth to say as much, but then he looks again.

The man looks hopefully up at him tears in his eyes.

Gwain. It's Gwain. How could he have forgotten?

“Yes,” Gwain whispers. “You remember me. He can’t make you forget.”

Aidra stumbles forward, gasping for breath. He grips the railing tightly as he stares into Gwain’s dark brown eyes. Sweat gathers on Aidra’s brow as he feels a memory desperately trying to claw its way out of the depths of his mind. His Master wrapping his arms around Aidra’s waist is the only thing that stops Aidra from falling headfirst over the railing as a skull-shattering headache slams into him. His eyes are wide in shock, his mouth hanging open in a silent scream. A few moments of mind-melting agony are enough for Aidra to lose the contents of his stomach. It splatters thickly onto the tan stone a floor below.

Hanging limply in his Master’s arms, Aidra feels his Master wipe the spit and vomit off his mouth and chin with the edge of his robe. His heart flutters and he tries to speak only to be shushed by the Hasaii. When his Master pulls Aidra into his lap, Aidra’s head lays heavily against his Master’s shoulder. The position stirs up feelings of helpless fear. His stomach rolls.

“You have caused another of my aidra distress, I can only hope you don’t do the same to any other Masters’ aidra.”

The other Masters in the room shift uncomfortably, some glancing down at their aidra. Aidra tries to weakly squirm away from his Master only to be held more tightly against his chest.

“The fact that my beloved Micah is not here is more than enough evidence that he was killed after being assaulted, taken away from my safety, and hidden from my sight.”

The other aidra have an array of expressions on their faces from fear to anger, disgust, and shock. Overwhelming sadness wells up in his stomach as he realizes Gwain might be executed. Aidra pulls against the arms around his waist as he feels more of his breakfast crawling out of his stomach.

“Stop squirming.”

Aidra opens his mouth to respond only to vomit over both of them. The other Masters are staring and the aidra look on with worry clear on their faces. On the bright side, Aidra vomiting all over him seemed to kill his Master's need to hold him in the inexplicably horrible position. His stomach turns again.

“Are you alright, Aidra?”

Not trusting himself, he shakes his head no. He isn't reprimanded because his Master doesn’t want to risk getting thrown up on again. A group of airedi swarm them wiping away as much of the sick that they can. Aidra stands and turns around to watch the airedi wiping away the vomit on his Master too. There is an unreadable expression on his Master’s face.

“I think we have heard enough for the aidra to convene. My aidra and I will return in thirty minutes after we have had a chance to clean off this smell and change.”

His Master’s hand on the small of his back leads him to the nearest bath. It is a large circular pool with two foot wide steps all the way around that lead into the deepest part of the pool. Aidra shies away from his Master when he starts to pull off Aidra’s clothes.

“It won’t be comfortable if you leave your dirty clothes on for a few hours. They also smell.”

“Will I get new ones, Master?”

His Master sighs, tugging his own clothes off his body.

“If you behave and take them off right now.”

Forcing down his apprehension, Aidra strips off his ruined shirt and shorts. He shivers in the cool air of the bath, waiting for his Master to tell him what to do with them. An airedi pulls his clothes out of his hands. Aidra stares at the airedi but she ignores him completely. Looking over at the Hasaii, Aidra sees that his Master is naked and busy ordering around the other airedi. The bath is filled with hot water that is more akin to his Master’s tastes. It’s always too hot for Aidra. He is pulled from his thoughts when his Master takes his hand and leads him into the water. The airedi are dismissed after they bring in a set of clothes for Aidra's Master.

“What are you going to do to Gwain, Master?”

The dark haired man sits back in the water and outright ignores Aidra’s question.

“Come here, little one.”

Hesitantly, Aidra moves closer yelping as he is dragged through the water into his Master’s arms. The man begins to hum a quiet tune as he rubs Aidra’s hair to get any smell or grime out of it. As his Master moves down from his hair to his neck and back, Aidra melts when his Master rubs the tension in his shoulders.

“Don’t fall asleep yet, Aidra. We have to go back soon.”

“Mmmm.”

“I’m serious, don’t fall asleep.”

“Ok, Master,” Aidra mumbles, voice heavy with tiredness.

Letting his forehead rest against his Master’s shoulder, he keeps his eyes open as his Master begins to possessively run his hands over Aidra’s body rather than clean. He whimpers when his Master bites his neck leaving a sizable mark that won’t be easy to cover. 

“Mine,” he whispers to Aidra.

Aidra squirms away.

“I need to get clean so I won’t smell later, Master.”

Growling, his Master grabs Aidra’s arm and pulls Aidra back against his chest.

“I didn’t tell you to do that, did I?”

Breathing quickly, Aidra struggles without thinking.

“No, I don’t want you to-”

Doesn’t want him to what? Aidra stills as quickly as he started. A kiss on the cheek.

“If you misbehave again I’ll have to punish you, aidra.”

“I’m sorry, Master, I don-”

“I don’t want to hear your excuses. Behave.”

Shoulders slumped in defeat, Aidra bows his head.

“Yes, Master.”

After that, his Master touches him like a man dying of thirst would consume a glass of water. Everywhere his Master touches he can feel the lingering press of fingers and palms. It makes him want to peel off his skin. When he feels his Master press a finger to his hole Aidra stiffens. No. Don’t touch me.

Aidra hears the words echo in his head. His Master is frozen in place and everything is still. He realizes the words aren’t just echoing in his head.

“M-Master?”

The Hasaii stands, dumping Aidra into the water. Yelping, Aidra gets his bearings and quickly swims to the edge of the pool. When tries to grab his Master's hand, his Master pulls away without looking at him. 

“I’m sorry, Master, I don’t know why I said that. Please forgive me!”

The Hasaii doesn't say anything right away instead, he dries himself off and pulls his clothes on before turning to face Aidra.

“There is only one way for an aidra to be forgiven. I expect you back in the council chambers to hear the verdict on Micah’s murderer.”

“Please, I don’t need to be punished, I’m sorry, Master!”

His Master's eyes flash as he grabs Aidra by the throat dragging him out of the water and shoving him against the floor hard. Aidra groans, his eye clenched in part by pain.

“What you need is for me to decide, _aidra_. Clearly, I’ve been too forgiving for your own good. The moment the rapist is sentenced, you will return to our rooms and wait for me there. I will decide what to do with you then.”

Aidra lets his pained, fearful tears drip down his face. His Master stands.

“I’m sorry, Master,” Aidra whispers

“Shut up. I know you’re not.”

At that, his Master leaves Aidra shivering on the floor of the bath. For a moment he just lays there and considers just waiting and letting his Master come get him. He isn’t stupid. If that happens he’ll get so much worse than what he already has waiting for him. There is a cloak on the wall next to the door. After drying off he pulls it on around him. The walk back is unnerving. He doesn’t want to see his friend executed.

He mentally stops short. They aren’t friends. Why did he think that?

Forcing it back when he feels his Master touching his mind to see where he is he tries to nudge it only to have his Master pull away. Ignoring the way his stomach drops at his Master’s reaction, Aidra hurries back to the council chambers. No one pays him any attention as he enters the room except Gwain who looks up at him terrified. His Master indicates the floor next to him without even a glance.

“What is your decision, aidra of the council?” the Hasaii asks pulling his hand away when Aidra tries to lean against it.

One of the aidra, a willowy female, stands.

“He should eat of the fruit and if he is meant to serve then so be it. If not, he should be beaten, humiliated, and executed like your beloved aidra was, honorable Hasaii.”

The aidra kneels at her Master’s feet again and leans into the hand on her head.

“Mast-”

Aidra receives a cold look from his Master. Curling in on himself, Aidra can’t say anything against this. It will make things worse for both of them.

“It would be good for you to see his punishment I think.”

Aidra tears up at that.

“Are you going to argue?”

“No, Master.”

A hand gently strokes his cheek.

“Good. Now go, I will be there soon.”

His stomach drops.

“I don’t want you to hurt me, please, I don-”

“Hush, you will feel better afterward. It is bad for an aidra who needs forgiveness to not be punished. I know that all too well.”

Hunching in on himself, Aidra stands and walks through the palace to his Master’s rooms. Every step echoes hollowly against the walls around him. In truth, he doesn’t know what to expect. He may have been here for five years but that doesn’t mean he can remember any of it. For some reason, he can’t even remember what Micah experienced. The only thing he has to go off of is Micah's first day of training but that isn’t much help considering the fact that his Master probably went easy on him. Even knowing that his punishment is terrible and beyond human comprehension would be better than this. Not knowing is so much worse. Stopping just outside the door, Aidra reaches out a shaking hand to touch the solid wood. He can’t face this alone. He can’t just sit there and wait for his Master-

His thoughts smooth out into an unmoving pool of water. His hands don’t shake. A heat wraps around him. It will hurt, he might be in pain for days to come but in the end, he'll be ok. None of this will be pleasant for him but he won’t be permanently harmed in any physical way. 

Reaching out to the heat, he feels a familiar mind touching his. It doesn’t click right away but he knows it isn't his Master. He tries to reach out further to get a good idea of who the other mind belongs to but it pulls away, seemingly seeping into the cracks of Aidra’s own mind. The loneliness slams into him like a brick wall when he realizes he is going to have to face his Master by himself. Pulling himself up on the bed, Aidra passively reaches out around him with his mind so he can feel when his Master gets close. Before he can stop himself, Aidra falls asleep.

Haziness surrounds him and he sees a familiar woman with jaw length brown hair and green eyes. She is wearing armor. She smiles at him. He takes her hand and they walk through the military encampment to a large tent on a small hill. When they enter the tent everyone bows to them or more specifically him. They begin to discuss something rapidly in a strange language but he understands what is being said. Nodding occasionally as he listens to his generals speak, he indicates for the woman, Cassandra to speak. It’s hard to grasp for Aidra, but if he focuses he can pick up most of it. She was scouting, things look good, the plan can move forward. He doesn’t understand what the plan is but then he feels pressure on his mind, removing him from the in all honesty incredibly mundane dream. He instantly forgets what he was dreaming about when he sees his Master stands over him, his face blank. Sucking in a breath Aidra opens his mouth to defend himself, stopping when his Master puts a finger against his own lips.

“When I sent you here I didn’t intend for you to take a nap.”

Swallowing nervously, Aidra again tries to defend himself only to have his Master shush him.

“No speaking. If a single word comes out of your mouth, your punishment will be increased.”

Whimpering quietly, he sinks into the sheets as his Master runs fingers through Aidra’s hair.

“I am very disappointed with you. I told you to behave and yet here you are, sleeping instead of awaiting punishment after acting like a bratty child. You may think that you are above listening to your Master but after tonight you will think twice about telling me no or telling me what you think you need. Only I truly know what you need; Only I can give it to you.”

The gentle fingers in his hair turn to an eye-watering grip as he is dragged off the bed by his hair. Gasping, Aidra tries to grab his Master’s wrist to take some of the pressure off his scalp. A knee to the stomach makes him heave and he is thrown to the floor.

“Lean over the desk.”

Whimpering, Aidra hesitates for a moment to let his stomach settle. A warning nudge against his side by the toe of his Master’s boot has him pulling himself over to the dark wood and up against the side. A block of wood is in front of the desk for Aidra to stand on so he can actually lay over the top of the desk and have his feet touch something.

“Stand on your toes.”

Doing as he is told, he listens as his Master steps away for a moment. Then the man is in front of him. Aidra doesn’t make eye contact knowing more disrespect tonight is the last thing he should be doing. His wrists are bound and tied to the legs of the desk with very little slack. Already he feels the burn in his arms and legs. His legs are pushed as far apart as possible with his wrists tied as they are. They too are tied in place leaving Aidra completely exposed. A finger slick with oil touches his entrance. Aidra bites his lip. Is his Master going to have sex with him as punishment for refusing earlier? His heart rate picks up as he hears the sound of oil being rubbed on something.

“I will be gone for a while. I expect you to keep this inside until I return. You may not take it out by yourself.”

Aidra doesn’t get the chance to wonder what his Master is talking about when a long, polished wood thing is pushed in his ass. Squirming at the intrusion Aidra notes the thing in him is flared subtly, being much thinner at the tip than at the base. It starts to slide out the moment his Master lets go. Whimpering, Aidra clench around it to try and hold it in only to make it almost fall out completely. His Master gently pushes it back in with a click of his tongue.

“That won’t work, little one. You have to figure it out on your own. I will be back to see if you can obey this one simple command. If you fail, I will decide how to proceed following my return.”

Without anything further, his Master leaves him alone in the room, shutting the door behind him. The wooden toy begins to slide out of him slowly. He knows clenching down on it won’t help, the toy is smooth and flared. It will definitely fall out if he clenches. That being said it is hard to think with the threat of further punishment. Of course, Aidra could just push the thing out and wait for a less difficult punishment. His Master would figure out what he did pretty easily, all he would have to do is ask Aidra if he pushed it out or failed intentionally. The toy is quarter of the way out by now, if he doesn’t do something it will fall out on its own. Pulling his legs as close together as possible, Aidra tilts his ass up and relaxes his muscles as best he can. For a moment he fears it didn’t work but then it slows to a stop. 

He lets out a shaky sigh of relief, staying as still as possible and hoping that his legs won’t give out on him. They already burn with exertion but having to stand completely still on his tiptoes is going to be hell. If his Master is gone until dinner, then Aidra is going to pass out from exhaustion. The floor and the chair his Master sit in to do work are all he can see from this position. It does little to distract him from the punishment. Refocusing his attention, Aidra can hear the noise of the streets below the palace. The market is in full swing if the sounds are any indication. A few words barely reach him mostly just prices for clothes, food, people, and spices. He wants to see the market again sometime. The door opens and an airedi enters, shutting the doors to the balcony and blocking out the sounds from the streets.

“What are you doing?” Aidra asks.

“The Hasaii asked that I close the shutters in case of a sandstorm,” the airedi answers. "He also told me that he ordered you not to speak."

His heart stops in his chest.

"You need to be more careful. Any other airedi wouldn't hesitate to tell the Hasaii of your failing. That being said, I owe you so much more than this, but for now, I will repay you with this."

Aidra's mind buzzes with confusion at the man's words. 

"I know you don't remember, but I will never forget."

At that, the airedi leaves. Aidra digs through his mind for an explanation of what just happened. The council room comes to mind for some reason, but that doesn't make any sense. What could possibly connect the two? Once a headache starts to mount, Aidra backs away from that line of questioning. As he is feeling around in his mind he feels his Master carefully monitoring him. sucking in a breath, Aidra mulls over how to avoid his Master from finding out about his plans to intentionally fail. Would he be punished for thinking about deliberately disobeying? Aidra forces himself to relax when the toy slips out a little bit from his unconscious clenching. His heart aches at the thought of his Master’s disappointment. Tears gather in his eyes as he whispers his quiet apologies. A gentle brush from his Master has him shiver involuntarily. He wants nothing more than his Master to forgive him. He misses the gentle brush of his Master's mind on his.

The clatter of wood on the stone floor makes him jump. He feels empty; his heart drops. All at once, Aidra slumps in defeat. He stops mentally apologizing to his Master in shock. No. It was an accident. He didn’t mean to if… No, he can’t think like that. He can't do that. For once Aidra doesn’t feel the need to cry. It won’t help. Blaming anyone won’t help. If he had just focused on his task, he would have had to be in this situation. The only thing he can do is beg to be punished and not fail again. If he was obedient in the first place, Aidra wouldn’t have been punished at all. Laying against the desk, Aidra waits for his Master to return. He will take his next punishment the way he should have taken the first. With grace and a focused mind. 

It’s easier said than done. Time seems to move slowly just to spite him. When he moves his limbs slightly he gasps, they burn and shake with exhaustion. If he tries to take the weight off his legs it makes his arms scream in agony. Aidra can’t move without hurting and he can’t stay still without hurting. The moment his Master unties him he is going to fall to the floor. Whatever his next punishment is, Aidra hopes it doesn’t involve standing or moving. The silence of the room is nice for a time, but with nothing to distract from his coming punishment and the burn in his arms and legs, Aidra feels claustrophobic. The room is strangely cold for Regali. As he shifts yet again he can swear he hears a quiet whisper. His heart freezes in his chest. What was that? Swallowing nervously, Aidra listens tense, waiting for anymore sound. When he hears nothing he shifts again. Nothing. After a moment of heart-pounding silence, Aidra breathes out shakily.

_“No.”_

It is clear as a bell coming from the balcony. The voice is soft, sad, and pleading. Steeling his nerve, Aidra whispers a quiet hello. He gets no response but that does little to comfort him when he feels eyes on the back of his head. Raspy breathing comes into focus. Holding his breath, Aidra hears the quiet shuffling of slippered feet on the floor. The doors to the balcony rattle and the sound of someone pushing against them is clear as day. His mind, for some Creator-forsaken reason, digs up an old Barsh legend he heard a long time ago. The Erbas. An Erba is a person who got lost in a blizzard or snowstorm and subsequently died. They have milky eyes, blue lips, and occasionally are missing fingers or toes. They usually end up wandering back home or to the place they were going before dying in the snow. The only way to get rid of an Erba is to either find the body and burn it or to help the Erba learn of its death.

Even though he knows there is no way in hell a snowstorm has happened here in a long time, Aidra gets the sinking feeling that something similar to that is happening here. Forcing down his panic, Aidra knows better than to bring any more attention to himself from the Erba. Quickly reaching out to his Master, Aidra mental begs him to return. When the balcony door creeps open, Aidra feels his heart leap into his throat. Tears spring into his eyes. Erbas tend to be more violent than the people they were in life. Why that is, is a mystery. One he doesn't want to find out the answer to anytime soon.

_“No.”_

The voice is in the room with him now. He can’t do this without help. His Master touches his mind gently. Screaming mentally for his Master to return, Aidra begins crying quietly. The raspy breathing gets closer.

“A….a….”

He can’t stop the whimper that comes out of his mouth. Please let it ignore him. For the love of the Creator, let it go away without coming any nearer.

“An...a...ai...ai...d...ra…?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda just ghosted you all for a couple of months. Long story short, I got sick twice during my days off and visited family. Before that, I was procrastinating which is something I'm trying to stop doing.
> 
> I'm going to update this with another chapter today. Hopefully in a few hours but that depends on my ability to not procrastinate. (I will update this again today.)


	5. The Creator; The Destroyer

Their eyes open once again. How many years have passed in the mortal plane since they were last awake? It takes them a moment to gather their senses and turn their attention to the world below. So many minds thinking, scheming, dreaming. They see it all, feel it all. The turning of the planets, the movement of the stars. To them, all of it is like dust floating on the wind. They know where the dust will land just as they know how the world will stop and start again for it will all be by their hand. The Creator and the Destroyer. They feel it in them, the way their twin is wrapped around them. They are one, have always been since the second incarnation. Since before the others were even the most far off dream in their mind. It is strange to recall their twin as a separate being but it was so in a time so far gone it may as well not have happened. 

Shifting their focus back to the world that they have made, they feel a stirring from their other half. A longing for this thing they created to end. Calming themself, they reach out for minds that are compatible, for lives that will fulfill their requirements.  A dozen different beings vie for their attention. One of these will host their return. Five rulers, two people forgotten by time, a wise man, an unawakened Mage, and three children with no future. 

They can feel the tension in the very fabric of the universe. There will be war. War has never bothered them even before joining with their twin. Miseh, on the other hand, disliked conflict, but that would be expected of peace given form. Their hearts ache at the memory of Miseh’s calming presence. Allowing the ache to fill them for a time, they gently release it into the nothing around them. Despite the fact that Miseh hasn't known form for twelve thousand, four hundred seventeen incarnations, it still hurts them that they aren't here.

Their attention is drawn once again to the twelve. One of the rulers pulls them in. They don’t understand why they are drawn to him. He isn’t a mage and he can only touch the mind. There is something about him, about this ruler that makes them unable to look away. At the moment he is clutching an unconscious man with light hair and fair skin. They never choose this soon, but they feel as if any other decision would be wrong. Using the slight influence they have over the man’s mind, they speak to him in words he won’t remember and in feelings to vast for him to comprehend. Before they allow themselves to pull away they whisper the word for consciousness to him. They watch as the young man in the ruler’s arms blinks awake. Searching for his name they find it repeated in the minds and heart and on the lips of nearly everyone. Hasaii. Hasaii. My Hasaii. Hasaii Kai. Honorable Hasaii. Kai. Rapist.

They stop short. That word carries weight and they remember its meaning. Micah, Alissa, Saris, Cassandra, and Gwain. They repeat the name, again and again, every time they think of him or see him. They feel concern that they have never felt for any human when they focus on Micah. They feel strange for helping the Hasaii wake the young man. Pulling away from the mortal plane, the creator closes their eyes. The world isn't ready for their arrival, but they can feel the desire of their creation to be joined with them once more. When it is time for him to again take physical form he will wake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you ask, I do have a long chapter in the works at the moment, but I 've had to rewrite it twice now and I still don't have it the way I want it. To say it's disheartening is an understatement. I plan on forcing myself to just delete the whole thing and start completely fresh tomorrow.  
> So far, I've been aiming for an update a month, but work is kicking my butt right now so we'll see. Anyway, hope y'all don't mind a change in perspective for this chapter. Also I mega overestimated how quickly I could finish chapter six last time I updated and oh boy do I feel stupid.


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